If you participate in several "lose 5 lbs in 2 weeks" diets do the powers combine to make you lose more weight? Or just lose the 5 lbs that much faster? Or do you eat so much yogurt, Special K, Hollywood Cookies, Vita-Muffins, and cayenne pepper water that you GAIN weight a waste tons of money?
If the latter is the case the programs should come with a disclaimer; "This diet fad, though ridiculous, will be even less productive when combined with equally unhealthy copies."
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Concise
Welcome to my concise post of the week.
CNN sucks. Way to box out a viable candidate from your debate on technicalities that still weren't true.
CNN sucks. Way to box out a viable candidate from your debate on technicalities that still weren't true.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Bitter Sauce
So I know that the things I’m going to complain about aren’t anything new. They have probably plagued each and every one of us in our lives. I also know that some might not be interested in reading my rant here and I will try not to go on for too long but then again you don’t even have to keep reading if you don’t want to. Unless you happen to be my wife . . . . . or brother-in-law . . . .or someone who subscribes to this blog . . . anyway. This all stems from random events that all seemed to happen to me yesterday for some reason. I guess the universe wanted to get my tormenting out of the in one chunk yesterday. So this is the story of Star Wars . . . .no wait . . wrong opening . . . .my bad. The following story you here is real. The names have been changed to make it funnier. All persons are considered jerks unless otherwise noted.
It all started out a few days ago when MamaBear and I decided to get patio furniture for our deck. We got a nice table and chair set but without the umbrella. Now we need some sort of shade because our deck gets all of the afternoon and evening sun. We didn’t buy the umbrella that and base that went with the patio set because it cost $400.00 all together which I thought was a little crazy for something that wouldn’t be able to provide shade to the whole table. That’s when we started looking into retractable awnings. I knew that it was going to be way more expensive then the umbrella and base but it would allow for the deck to be completely covered in shade and even to be used during rain showers . . . as long as the rain is only coming straight down . . .and that the wind doesn’t start blowing above 20 mph. Which is better then what the umbrella could provide. So we decide to get an estimate for an awning.
So on my way home yesterday I call the MamaBear and she tells me that we need to contact our homeowners association to get approval for the awning because it would be an addition to the exterior of our house. Now what MamaBear didn’t tell me at the time was that there were already several stipulations from the HOA for getting this awning.
1. It could only have a straight edge on it. Now this I could really care less about. It doesn’t bother me to not be able to have curved edges.
2. The Case had to be the same color as the accent on the house. Which goes along with number
3. Which is that the color of the fabric for the awning had to match the color of the siding on the house.
Why do we have HOAs in the first place. They are a no good crap money stealing industry that only wants to make sure that we all live in a stupid cookie cutter style community. I know that there are probably a few good points to them but I don’t care right now. And I know that some of you are thinking “Well why, Mr. Tank, did you buy a house that belongs to an HOA if you have such a hatred for them?” And the answer is that in the area we live in it is next to impossible to find a housing development that does not have its own HOA unless you move way far out and then the land is still so expensive that you would be forced to only be able to live in a tent, which sometimes I think I might prefer instead of having to deal with all these rules and regulations.
Besides all of the color stuff that we have to comply with we also have to turn in the paperwork to the HOA which only meets once a month. And that day was yesterday, which would have been enough time for us to get the paperwork in for the approval except for the little fact that we have to get our neighbors who would have to look at the apparent monstrosity hanging off the back of our house. Now one of our neighbors is never home so of course I couldn’t get them to sign yesterday. Our other neighbor is always home . . . .except for yesterday. So I was screwed in getting this turned in last night. This means that we will have to wait until they meet next month to even turn the paperwork in, then they can take up to two weeks to decide. This puts us at the start of august. Then we can order the awning from the company after which it takes three weeks to get the in from the factory, which is uses inmates supposedly to keep the prices low, sure. . . . whatever. So we are looking at the middle to the end of august before it could get installed which basically makes the patio set useless this summer unless you want to get fried while you eat fries . . .tehe. So that’s my first complaint that HOAs are useless and I hate them.
Now while I was driving and talking to MamaBear on the phone I was already not in a good mood because of the HOA crap. At this time I was passing a dump truck. Lets pause right here and talk about my dislike for dump trucks. I know that we need them in order to get a lot of heavy lifting construction work done. My problem is that there is so much work going on that on my hour long drive home I always seem to have one in front of me. As soon as I pass one another one seems to magically appear in front of me. Even when I get into my lovely community there is still at least one. Some of them I don’t have a problem with. These are the newer ones, they might still be slow but they tend not to let loose rocks and jankus come out of the back. My beef is with the ones that are so rusted and old that they are much slower and probably lose half of their load on the road between sites. I was attempting to pass the latter one on my way home while talking to MamaBear. He just so happened to drop a nice rock which took a good bounce and then hit my windshield leaving a nice spider-web style crack. At this time I let out a few expletives which I then had to convince MamaBear that they weren’t being leveled at her. Which brings me to my third and final rant target of Car Insurance.
Car insurance has to be one of the biggest scams to ever be invented on the face of the earth. I am paying for something that I will most likely not use to the extent to which I pay. I pay XXX amount of money every month. Now if I ever want to use my insurance to say . .get a window fixed because of stupid rock pooping dump trucks I have to pay a deductable in order to use the insurance. So I am paying money to use something that I already pay money to use. Then they will come back and raise my rates to discourage me from trying to pass a slow moving dump truck on the interstate. How have we let them do this to us for so long. Sigh.
Okay. I’m sorry that this went on for so long and I hope that some of you stayed with me on this journey. I feel slightly better now . . . . .except for the HOA . . that I still hate more than ever.
Mr. The Tank
It all started out a few days ago when MamaBear and I decided to get patio furniture for our deck. We got a nice table and chair set but without the umbrella. Now we need some sort of shade because our deck gets all of the afternoon and evening sun. We didn’t buy the umbrella that and base that went with the patio set because it cost $400.00 all together which I thought was a little crazy for something that wouldn’t be able to provide shade to the whole table. That’s when we started looking into retractable awnings. I knew that it was going to be way more expensive then the umbrella and base but it would allow for the deck to be completely covered in shade and even to be used during rain showers . . . as long as the rain is only coming straight down . . .and that the wind doesn’t start blowing above 20 mph. Which is better then what the umbrella could provide. So we decide to get an estimate for an awning.
So on my way home yesterday I call the MamaBear and she tells me that we need to contact our homeowners association to get approval for the awning because it would be an addition to the exterior of our house. Now what MamaBear didn’t tell me at the time was that there were already several stipulations from the HOA for getting this awning.
1. It could only have a straight edge on it. Now this I could really care less about. It doesn’t bother me to not be able to have curved edges.
2. The Case had to be the same color as the accent on the house. Which goes along with number
3. Which is that the color of the fabric for the awning had to match the color of the siding on the house.
Why do we have HOAs in the first place. They are a no good crap money stealing industry that only wants to make sure that we all live in a stupid cookie cutter style community. I know that there are probably a few good points to them but I don’t care right now. And I know that some of you are thinking “Well why, Mr. Tank, did you buy a house that belongs to an HOA if you have such a hatred for them?” And the answer is that in the area we live in it is next to impossible to find a housing development that does not have its own HOA unless you move way far out and then the land is still so expensive that you would be forced to only be able to live in a tent, which sometimes I think I might prefer instead of having to deal with all these rules and regulations.
Besides all of the color stuff that we have to comply with we also have to turn in the paperwork to the HOA which only meets once a month. And that day was yesterday, which would have been enough time for us to get the paperwork in for the approval except for the little fact that we have to get our neighbors who would have to look at the apparent monstrosity hanging off the back of our house. Now one of our neighbors is never home so of course I couldn’t get them to sign yesterday. Our other neighbor is always home . . . .except for yesterday. So I was screwed in getting this turned in last night. This means that we will have to wait until they meet next month to even turn the paperwork in, then they can take up to two weeks to decide. This puts us at the start of august. Then we can order the awning from the company after which it takes three weeks to get the in from the factory, which is uses inmates supposedly to keep the prices low, sure. . . . whatever. So we are looking at the middle to the end of august before it could get installed which basically makes the patio set useless this summer unless you want to get fried while you eat fries . . .tehe. So that’s my first complaint that HOAs are useless and I hate them.
Now while I was driving and talking to MamaBear on the phone I was already not in a good mood because of the HOA crap. At this time I was passing a dump truck. Lets pause right here and talk about my dislike for dump trucks. I know that we need them in order to get a lot of heavy lifting construction work done. My problem is that there is so much work going on that on my hour long drive home I always seem to have one in front of me. As soon as I pass one another one seems to magically appear in front of me. Even when I get into my lovely community there is still at least one. Some of them I don’t have a problem with. These are the newer ones, they might still be slow but they tend not to let loose rocks and jankus come out of the back. My beef is with the ones that are so rusted and old that they are much slower and probably lose half of their load on the road between sites. I was attempting to pass the latter one on my way home while talking to MamaBear. He just so happened to drop a nice rock which took a good bounce and then hit my windshield leaving a nice spider-web style crack. At this time I let out a few expletives which I then had to convince MamaBear that they weren’t being leveled at her. Which brings me to my third and final rant target of Car Insurance.
Car insurance has to be one of the biggest scams to ever be invented on the face of the earth. I am paying for something that I will most likely not use to the extent to which I pay. I pay XXX amount of money every month. Now if I ever want to use my insurance to say . .get a window fixed because of stupid rock pooping dump trucks I have to pay a deductable in order to use the insurance. So I am paying money to use something that I already pay money to use. Then they will come back and raise my rates to discourage me from trying to pass a slow moving dump truck on the interstate. How have we let them do this to us for so long. Sigh.
Okay. I’m sorry that this went on for so long and I hope that some of you stayed with me on this journey. I feel slightly better now . . . . .except for the HOA . . that I still hate more than ever.
Mr. The Tank
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
General Wonderment
I've always wondered...
Is it an itsy, bisty, teeny, weeny, bikini that's yellow and has polka-dots? Or are the polka-dots yellow?
If it is yellow WITH polka-dots, what color are the polka-dots?
If the polka-dots are yellow, what color is the bikini?
The description leaves much to be desired.
Is it an itsy, bisty, teeny, weeny, bikini that's yellow and has polka-dots? Or are the polka-dots yellow?
If it is yellow WITH polka-dots, what color are the polka-dots?
If the polka-dots are yellow, what color is the bikini?
The description leaves much to be desired.
Whose Fault Sauce?
In this issue I would like to address the issue of things that people are being sued for where it is unclear on whether it is the defendants fault or just the foolishness of the people who are letting this happen to them. I'm sure we can all agree when it comes to things like someone suing McDonald's over there coffee being too hot, because it is clearly the fast food joints fault for telling you that it wouldn't be a good idea to spill it on your lap. Also (again for McDonald's, I guess they just attract some pretty dumb people . . . . .or people who are geniuses for figuring out a way to get one over on our justice system, which as you can see from my last post that I am not the biggest fan of.) the people who sue over the fattening food that for some reason makes them fat. The case that I want to bring up is a little more recent and serious then just making someone fat or scalded and that is the case of the Sweat Lodge deaths that happened out in the desert of Arizona. And before I began I want to be clear that I am not making light, in any way, the deaths of the three people involved in this case.
For those of you not familiar the case I will give a short description. Basically there are people who are paying James Ray to help them find spiritual enlightenment. They are paying him upwards of $10,000 for the ability to participate in the following retreat activities: 36 hours of meditation in the desert with no food or water, shaving their heads and spending enough time in a sweat lodge to "die and be reborn".
No I think this guy was taking things to an extreme, and maybe all the facts haven't been made known about the case, but as far as I can tell nobody was holding a gun to these peoples head and making them stay in this sweat lodge or participate in this enlightenment process at all. They were paying for what they should have known to be a dangerous project. Maybe the people assumed that they were being watched over and that the leader would not let their bodies go past their physical abilities. And maybe some of the negligence then does fall and Mr. Ray's shoulders.
I guess that this is similar in some ways to the end of the world cults that are popping up all the time. Like the one where the people believed that there was a UFO behind the tail of a comet and that they needed to kill themselves so that they can be taken up into space. Does the blame need to fall completely on the shoulders of the person who came up with the idea and should that person be punished in the same way that someone shouts fire into a crowded room is punished, or should it be spread around to those who decided to take up this belief?
I just dunno . . . .You guys have any ideas?
Confused about whose fault sauce.
For those of you not familiar the case I will give a short description. Basically there are people who are paying James Ray to help them find spiritual enlightenment. They are paying him upwards of $10,000 for the ability to participate in the following retreat activities: 36 hours of meditation in the desert with no food or water, shaving their heads and spending enough time in a sweat lodge to "die and be reborn".
No I think this guy was taking things to an extreme, and maybe all the facts haven't been made known about the case, but as far as I can tell nobody was holding a gun to these peoples head and making them stay in this sweat lodge or participate in this enlightenment process at all. They were paying for what they should have known to be a dangerous project. Maybe the people assumed that they were being watched over and that the leader would not let their bodies go past their physical abilities. And maybe some of the negligence then does fall and Mr. Ray's shoulders.
I guess that this is similar in some ways to the end of the world cults that are popping up all the time. Like the one where the people believed that there was a UFO behind the tail of a comet and that they needed to kill themselves so that they can be taken up into space. Does the blame need to fall completely on the shoulders of the person who came up with the idea and should that person be punished in the same way that someone shouts fire into a crowded room is punished, or should it be spread around to those who decided to take up this belief?
I just dunno . . . .You guys have any ideas?
Confused about whose fault sauce.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Cramily Values
We all know them; they are our neighbors and coworkers; they come from afar and nearby. And somehow they manage to fit their entire immediate and extended family into one house! Sometimes their businesses are also operated out of these homes. How 23 people live under one roof is beyond me.
We judge. We may not admit it (I do) but we judge. We wonder why they think cramming 4 generations into one house is a good idea.
Where do they sleep? Maybe they sleep in shifts!
Even now you are picturing that family you know down the street that seems to be a clown car of humanity. Maybe they even have a constant rotation of junky cars. So what do they look like? Hispanic? Korean? Middle Eastern? I will admit that I often picture these "Cramlies" (crammed in family) as an international friend. But just the other morning I realized something...this is all OUR FAULT!! I shall tell you why...
We originated the Cramily and even popularized it! Two words; Full House. Yes, little Michele and hug happy Danny Tanner are just the ones I mention. Think about it. There are at least 3 families in that small San Fransisco home. What's worse is that they're not even blood related!! How the HOA never put a stop to them is a wonder! At its peak Danny, DJ, Stephanie, Michele (which there were two of), Joey, Jessy, Becky, Nicky, Alex, and Comet the dog all resided in the three level home where an advertising production company, a comedy act, and a rock band all operated out of. Not to mention the revolving door of girlfriends, boyfriends, mothers, and musicians. The house has also seen its fair share of the animal kingdom; including but not limited to a turtle, a monkey, a donkey, a horse, a ferret, and even the Beach Boys!
Face it, we can no longer blame immigrants for the Cramily. The blame falls squarely on the shoulders of Jeff Franklin.
We judge. We may not admit it (I do) but we judge. We wonder why they think cramming 4 generations into one house is a good idea.
Where do they sleep? Maybe they sleep in shifts!
Even now you are picturing that family you know down the street that seems to be a clown car of humanity. Maybe they even have a constant rotation of junky cars. So what do they look like? Hispanic? Korean? Middle Eastern? I will admit that I often picture these "Cramlies" (crammed in family) as an international friend. But just the other morning I realized something...this is all OUR FAULT!! I shall tell you why...
We originated the Cramily and even popularized it! Two words; Full House. Yes, little Michele and hug happy Danny Tanner are just the ones I mention. Think about it. There are at least 3 families in that small San Fransisco home. What's worse is that they're not even blood related!! How the HOA never put a stop to them is a wonder! At its peak Danny, DJ, Stephanie, Michele (which there were two of), Joey, Jessy, Becky, Nicky, Alex, and Comet the dog all resided in the three level home where an advertising production company, a comedy act, and a rock band all operated out of. Not to mention the revolving door of girlfriends, boyfriends, mothers, and musicians. The house has also seen its fair share of the animal kingdom; including but not limited to a turtle, a monkey, a donkey, a horse, a ferret, and even the Beach Boys!
Face it, we can no longer blame immigrants for the Cramily. The blame falls squarely on the shoulders of Jeff Franklin.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Sad To Watch Sauce
I just want to get opinions from people on the Casey Anthony case. It was a truly disturbing event from the start. To watch for weeks as police and volunteers search for a missing child hits your heart to begin with, but then to find out that the mom new about what had happened the whole time is enough to make me sick.
Now the trial for this horrible act has finally started. (don't even get me going on how three years can be in the realm of a speedy trial). Reading and watching the news on this case has made my jaw drop. I try not to jump to conclusions on people and I know that we are suppose to assume that someone is innocent until proven guilty but I can't help myself. Blaming her parents and her upbringing for the death and cover up of your child just seems like grasping at straws to me. Even if things did happen the way they are saying then she us still GUILTY! Maybe I'm just bitter against the justice system in the US. Maybe I'm blinded by the crime that has been committed. This is why I would like to know what you think about this. Am I to quick to jump to conclusions in this case or do you all agree with what I am saying here?
Looking forward to your comments!!
The Tank
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